


The Queen’s Influence

by yellowhalcyon



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Break Up, Fights, M/M, Rimming, kinda......
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 20:30:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12565596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowhalcyon/pseuds/yellowhalcyon
Summary: Fic prompt: What if stroppy Magnus Bane was asked by the Seelie Queen to kill Alec Lightwood?





	The Queen’s Influence

**Author's Note:**

> So this was a prompt from drunk!me and I thought about it long & hard because I wanted it to be reasonable for Alec forgive Magnus at the end. I admit I did wanna explore some of Magnus’ potential dark side – since, you know, he confesses to straight up murdering a man at nine years old and then Alec is like ‘there’s nothing ugly about you’ (however, to state for the record, Magnus was a child when he did this and so obviously couldn’t fully comprehend his actions at the time, but also this death still haunts him centuries later so he clearly regrets it deeply enough to, therefore, not want to do it again. I am saying these things do not make him a bad person, they make him a complex and interesting character) – but it just wouldn’t work and I still get to do that partly here. So enjoy!

Magnus finds himself in the Seelie realm once again. The smell in the air burns the top of his nostrils and he often stumbles here and there on the uneven ground. Petals and dust fall in his hair and face and it’s all rather _irritating_ , if anything today there feels like more than usual. He flicks another spec away and trudges onwards. He’s wanted here and so he appears.

The Seelie Queen waits for him in the broad, glinting courtyard, her Court of soldiers and advisers fluttering around her like butterflies. Magnus walks up to the centre and plants himself firmly before them and waits.

The Seelie takes her time to notice him and when she does, her youthful face remains as unchanging as the flowery tattoos that line her cheeks. ‘Welcome, Magnus,’ she says.

Magnus bows. ‘My lady,’ he says but as soon as she isn’t looking, dusts some excessive flecks off his embroidered coat sleeve.

‘You must be wondering why I would called you here,’ she says in her usual monotone. This marks their third meet up within the week and it begs the question what’s there left for them to talk about.

‘The thought had occurred to me, yes,’ he says. At least being here keeps his mind from wondering back to the one thing he wishes it didn’t: Alec Lightwood. Almost like the final memory of his mother, happy times and odd moments keep replying in his head whenever he doesn’t have something definite to do. Sometimes, he even catches himself thinking _when will Alec get back?_ or _what could he do with Alec this evening?_

And then it dawns on him and his heart gets a little heavier.

The Queen continues, ‘we have been in deep discussion, my court and I.’ Surprise, surprise, there’s been little the Queen hasn’t felt the need to comment on, recently. ‘And we have come to an unanimous decision about the current state of events and, more importantly, where we wish to transverse from here.’

Magnus looks at her. ‘May I ask where my involvement in all this comes in?’ he says, gently.

The Queen does not flitch. ‘That part will come, don’t worry.’

Magnus nods and, out in the corners of his vision, can see petals collecting on his shoulders. He tries his best to ignore them.

‘We’ve realised that drastic measures need to be taken if we are to progress forward anymore. The Clave and its associates have lied to us for far too long and gone unpunished for just the same.’ Somehow the Queen’s features darken even further. ‘Therefore, we wish for you to kill the head of the New York institute. I want you to kill Alec Lightwood.’

That surprises Magnus to the point he almost laughs. Except none of this is funny. The Queen can’t possibly be asking him to do that. Even without their history, the death of such a high-up official at the hands of the downworlders would lead to all out war. He stares at her, motionless.

And she notices. ‘I understand why a task such as this would be difficult. But, if you truly fight for the sake of your people, you will be willing to make this sacrifice.’

‘A sacrifice that could start a war,’ Magnus finds himself saying.

Her eyes narrow and she clarifies, ‘indeed. This is the catalyst we need to start a war and from the ashes, we will finally gain the respect by the Clave that we dearly deserve.’ Her words are final, ‘the head of the New York Institute needs to die, Magnus.’ She raises her delicate hand to indicate he must now kiss the ring, as through Seelie tradition, to seal the deal, ‘I’ll leave you to it.’

Magnus manages to shake some awareness into himself and slowly walks forward. He can’t possibly do this. He lowers onto one knee in front of her and take a hold of her hand and brings the ring to his lips. What she asks of him is impossible.

Shakily, Magnus rises to his feet and, dismissed, leaves the Seelie realm in a quiet hurry. So fast, the petals fly from his coat.

¬

Magnus Bane gets back to his apartment and is unable to keep still. He finds himself pacing up and down his living room, traversing the length of the sofa over again and again and again. The Seelie Queen’s order rings about in his head like a church bell. The sound becomes almost deafening and Magnus holds his head in his hands.

It’s unbearable.

He can’t possibly go through with this. Alec is... has been so important in his life. _He lied_. But that’s complicated and even despite Magnus’ hurt feelings doesn’t constitute murder. _He betrayed a delicate trust_. Alec did that, yes, but he also did it in the name of protection and that counts for something. _He needs to pay for his crimes_. He’s still a kid in some aspects, they make mistakes. _He needs to pay for what he has done to you_.

Magnus throws his hand out and a portal whooshes up before him. He marches through it and emerges into the calm section of corridor inside the Institute. All the lights are off and Alec’s room rests on the far wall at the end.

The silence hits him abruptly and he shakes himself down, collecting himself to avoid making a sound and drawing unwanted attention. He then approaches the door.

Using a small click of magic, he gets it open and sneaks inside. It slides shut behind him and Magnus peers across the room. When his eyes slowly adjust to the light, he spies a figure asleep in the bed. They have their back to him, with dark hair spiking up across the pillow and black runes darted about on pink skin.

Magnus becomes aware this is the first time he has seen Alec since their meeting with Seelie Queen just a week before. From when their relationship started, this is the longest they’ve been apart from each other.

Magnus makes his way over on silent footsteps and the ringing in his head gets louder and louder. He’s practically screaming on the inside when he gets close. His heartbeat audible in his own ears, thumping at the back of his eyes. The room suddenly feels too hot for the clothes he’s in. He tugs at his collar for air and raises his hands above Alec’s sleeping frame.

His thought pattern suddenly wonders back to when Jace asked him to steal Alec’s stele for a brief moment and that feeling of deception crawls up his throat like bile. His heartbeat thump thumps away behind his eyes. Alec mumbles something in his sleepy state and rolls out onto his back. This brings his chest into view, shirted and half wrapped under a bed sheet.

 _What the Queen asked of you was right._ Magnus silently summons a knife. _Alec Lightwood needs to die._ He grips the handle and –and realises the knife is as blunt as a wooden spoon.

Magnus blinks, wipes his forehead, and tries again. But the knife comes up almost even more blunt this time, dull milky-shine reflecting even in the bare moonlight.

He coughs and pulls at his collar again and tries one last time. Still blunt.

Magnus turns away. This requires a different tactic. He pushes at the ringing in his head and onto something else that involves cutting objects with knifes. Chopping vegetables on a board comes to mind and, as ridiculous as it feels, Magnus lets it flood his thoughts. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries once again to summon a knife.

Upon opening them, the knife appears relatively sharp this time. He tests the end and it slices at his finger tip like paper. The cut doesn’t hurt. Magnus turns back around and the ringing returns in full force. The words bounce around his head strong and true, louder than a metal ball tumbling down marble stairs.

 _Alec Lightwood must die_. _Alec Lightwood must die_. _Alec Lightwood must die_.

Magnus holds the blade back up above Alec’s chest and fiddles with the grip on the handle. A bead of sweat sliding down his cheek feels like nails on his skin. His eyes sting and his stomach aches unpleasantly.

Then after a moment, Alec stirs in his sleep again and, in no time at all, starts up snoring.

Magnus stares at him. Only then, he realises something: the only reason he is here now is because he misses Alec’s company.

Magnus stumbles back just to get away from him fast enough. However, his knife catches on Alec’s dresser and the abrupt clang rises a concerned sleepy groan from Alec. Magnus’ eyes shot towards him, then towards the door, and he freezes solid.

When nothing happens, carefully and slowly he inches forward. But the remnants of sleep are already leaving him and Alec begins to wake up, his eyes half lidded, pupils peeping through his dark lashes.

Magnus watches him for a second, unable not to. The ringing becomes something else and dissolves from his brain. His clicks up a portal, eyes still on Alec, and then turns to leave.

‘Magnus...’ the sound of Alec’s sleep charred voice slices through him and almost causes Magnus to lose his balance. He staggers through the whirling pool of light and relief washes over as his apartment gradually comes into view.

The second the portal snaps shut behind him, Magnus’ mouth opens of its own accord and he vomits onto the carpet.

¬

The room swirls and remains blurry for a long time. Magnus finds himself curled up on the bed by the end of it, unsure of how exactly he got there. His mouth tastes like crap.

He cleans the carpet by hand. Soaking the cloth in water, he scrubs until his hands are red raw. Then he disposes of everything and gives a simple click to fix the rest with magic.

Midday, the doorbell rings.

It is Isabelle.

¬

Alec remembers a flash of silver and a figure looming over him. He recognised them and called their name, but it must have been a dream because they were gone when he reached for the light. Even though he swears the rush of air on his face, like a portal had just closed in front of him, felt so real.

He doesn’t think much of it, though. Dreams are strange.

The day ends the way it always seems to, with him signing forms long past his assigned hours and then dashing back to Magnus’ flat as fast as possible. The other day, he decided to sleep at the Institute, after everything just dragged on and on, and as a result had one of the worst night’s sleep he has had in years. It wasn’t that the Institute beds were uncomfortable, he simply couldn’t sleep. No matter how he lay there or what he tried, sleep refused to be called. So he has been rushing back off to Magnus’ apartment every night since.

But he would gladly have a sleepless night be the worst of his problems after sorting out everything from Valentine’s death and the rise of an Angel.

He arrives to find Magnus sat on one of his long sofas, expression sober and drink in hand. When he acknowledges Alec’s approach, he smiles almost sad and taps the spot next to him. ‘Alec, hey, can you sit for a second?’ he says.

Confused, ‘sure,’ he finishes taking his jacket off and sits down. Magnus doesn’t look at him. ‘Everything okay?’

Magnus nods to himself. ‘It is.’ Finally looking up, he says, ‘it’s just… Alexander, I have something I need to tell you.’

‘Okay.’

‘This might be hard to hear, but I want to tell you it nonetheless.’

Alec frowns. ‘Okay now you’re scaring me.’

Something flashes across Magnus’ eyes, too fast to process properly, but Alec thinks it might have been fear. He then takes a deep breath and starts talking, ‘during our break up, I was summoned to the Seelie realm by the Queen.’

Nothing strange there, the Seelie Queen practically treated Magnus like her personal guard dog. And Alec hated every second of it. Putting his people first should not have been like that.

Magnus reaches out and takes Alec’s hand.

Alec squeezes it in support.

He seems to relax after that and gathers his words. ‘She wanted to talk about something important and, to my surprise, asked something very difficult of me,’ he says, ‘she spoke of wanting a war and how from that war, Downworlders could finally gain the respect we deserved from the Clave. These words didn’t surprise me. But what she wanted to happen to start this war did.’ He swallows. ‘She wanted someone to die, Alec. That was when she ordered me to kill you. And I—’

Alec snaps his hand away. ‘Wait, so that was real?’ It feels like ice cold water has been poured down his back. ‘You did visit my room that night?’ The memory plays through his mind with renewed power and this time the figure looming over him has Magnus’ face, a knife in his hand.

‘I did. But—’

Alec darts up. ‘I can’t believe this. I don’t want to.’

Distressed, Magnus follows him and tries to reach for his hand again. ‘Alexander, let me explain—’

‘No,’ he says, swinging his whole arm away. Excuses won’t make up for what he’s just been told. ‘I don’t want to hear it. The Seelie Queen ordered you to kill me and you… you went through with it.’ Or tried to. If that were true, Alec wouldn’t be standing here right now, feeling what he does.

‘No—’ Magnus starts.

There may be a reason why he didn’t go through with it, however, the anger now flowing through Alec’s system makes that decision for him. The man he loves tried to kill him, _wanted_ to kill him. The thought twists his stomach into a knot. ‘But you went to my room, why else would you come to my room? Tell me, Magnus,’ he demands. ‘Give me some other reason why you were there and I’ll believe you.’ Alec forces himself to stop to at least give Magnus one chance to explain, regarding him fiercely.

Magnus goes silent for a long minute and keeps his dark gaze at the ground. ‘I don’t have one,’ he eventually says.

Alec nods firmly. He heads for the door. ‘This is… this is… I can’t believe it.’ He stops half way and turns back to find Magnus hasn’t moved. ‘Aldertree was right.’ Magnus’ eyes flick to his at the sound of that name. ‘He told me Shadowhunters and Downworlders can’t be together and he was right,’ Alec says and he wants it to hurt.

It does.

‘Alec,’ Magnus’ face twists in pain and his eyes start to redden.

‘No. Stay away from me,’ Alec says, voice cold. In the following silence, he walks to the door and slams it shut on his way out.

¬

He manages to hold it back until he reaches his room in the Institute. Somehow. The distance felt like the longest he traversed in his life. Once he quietly slides the door shut behind him, Alec collapses against it. The sobs rock through him and he curls into himself on the floor, hugging his sides until it stops. Afterwards, he moves to the bed and lies there, motionless and still fully dressed, waiting for sleep to come.

The next few days are tough. When he said that statement of not being able to live without him, Alec meant it. So instead he buries himself in work, anything and everything to keep his mind busy. He lets it pile up on his desk and works through it until the early hours of the morning when his body gives up out of severe exhaustion.

His phone buzzes so much Alec switches it off and, after the week passes, he starts leaving it in his room for the day. Magnus calls more than texts and on the four night of no sleep, Alec gives in and listens to his endless voicemails as a last resort to get to some sleep, his brain so tired the words just blur into white noise. He deletes them all in the morning.

He becomes aware a week and a half has passed when Clary, Simon, and his sister come into his office as one unit.

Glinting smile on her face, Izzy leans forward, puts her hands on his desk and says, ‘Alec, you are an idiot.’

Alec fights looking up from the electric pad in his lap. ‘I’m not in the mood, Izzy,’ he says dismissively.

‘Oh you’re gonna be when we’re finished,’ Simon says and his voice never fails to annoy Alec. He peers up with a glare and Simon swallows, ‘…okay that came out wrong but anyway—’

‘Anyway,’ Clary says, taking the reins, ‘we talked to the Seelie Queen.’

That name instantly reveals why they’re here. Alec doesn’t have to fake his disinterest. ‘And?’

‘Alec,’ Izzy says and she waits for him to look at her. ‘We asked her about Magnus.’

‘I don’t want to hear it.’

‘But she—’ Izzy tries.

‘I said I don’t want to hear it, okay? Just drop it. I don’t want anymore…’ He means to say _I don’t want anymore pain_ but the words refuse to come out without tears and he wants to be done crying over this. ‘I don’t want anymore,’ he simply says again.

‘He didn’t do it, Alec,’ Clary says, her voice crystal clear. ‘Yes, the Seelie Queen ordered him to take you out but she also used her magic to make him want to do it.’

‘It’s quite sneaky actually,’ Simon says before fully processing his words. ‘Although that’s… no surprise. It’s the Seelie Queen, but, yeah,’ he continues quickly, ‘you know how you’re not supposed to eat anything from the Seelie realm. Well, Magnus didn’t intentionally but…’

Clary cuts in front of him, ‘—when the Seelie Queen asked him to seal the deal by kissing her ring, she’d put something on it,’ she says. ‘That must have severely magnified any negative feelings Magnus had towards you. You were broken up at the time, by Magnus’ choice.’

It sounds too good to be true. He wants to believe it, but… ‘But he still kissed the ring,’ Alec says, thinking. ‘That still counts as him saying yes to deal in some way.’ He needs this to be final, something definite before he gets his hopes up and goes running back to where he desperately wants to be.

Izzy voice is calm, when she speaks, ‘he didn’t do it, big bro. I’m sure if you _talk_ to Magnus then he’ll explain that.’

‘It was a delicate time and, sometimes you have to say yes to the Seelie Queen, even if you don’t want to,’ Simon says and something about his voice implies there’s more to that than he lets on. Now is not the time, however.

‘She’d promised the safety of his people,’ Clary adds, ‘I’m sure he didn’t want to anger her.’

‘In fact,’ Izzy says, raising a finger. ‘I found him a few days after it and he seemed pretty affected by her magic, lost a few days from it. But go talk to him about that,’ she insists.

‘Okay.’ Alec rises and grabs his jacket. Making his way around the table, he decides he is going to do this. ‘Do you think he’s in now?’ he asks, slinging his arms into the sleeves.

Izzy’s face goes blank. ‘Uh, I don’t know,’ she says.

‘Let’s go find out,’ Simon says and everyone immediately regards him. ‘Or not… us,’ he responds to the awkward moment. ‘Just you.’ He punches Alec’s nearest bicep. ‘Go get him, big boy.’

Alec continues glaring for good measure, jacket now on.

Clary pats him on the arm too as he passes. ‘Good luck, Alec.’

‘Thanks,’ he says and just about remembers his manners before dashing from the room.

¬

He should have used speed _rune_ , but the thought slipped his mind. Alec is panting heavily by the time he reaches the top to Magnus’ apartment block. He takes a second to swallow his breath and collect himself before knocking definitively on Magnus’ front door.

Nothing happens for a long time.

Gradually, Alec hears footsteps approach the door. When Magnus opens it, he freezes, eyes wide in alarm. The sight of which causes a pain in Alec’s chest.

His mouth doesn’t work for a second, ‘oh –hi.’ He tries to make himself less intimidating, straightens his back, takes a small step backwards, leaves his chest open, so Magnus doesn’t keep thinking what he appears to be thinking is about to happen here.

‘Hey,’ Magnus says, remaining cautious.

Alec coughs closed mouth, still out of slightly breath. ‘Uh, you have a second to talk?’ He expects him to say no.

Surprisingly, ‘sure. Come in,’ Magnus says, thankfully more relaxed this time, and moves to one side.

Alec darts inside, feels the awkwardness rising around them like hot air. He scans everything but the man before him, who calmly closes his door and turns to Alec. ‘Magnus...’ he says, staring at his shoes. He finally glances and Magnus’ eyes are the same, focused on something else in the distance. Alec isn’t sure how to do this.

So he goes from what he’d been taught and starts from the beginning. ‘After everything that happened that night and everything you said to me, I, uh, understand now,’ he says.

Magnus looks at him sharply and his eyes appear to ask _you do?_

Alec wants to slap the past version of him across the cheek for being such an idiot. His sister was right. ‘Clary, Izzy, and Simon found me,’ he says, ‘and they explained everything.’ Alec shifts his gaze downwards, ‘everything you tried to explain to me but I just refused to listen.’

‘It was understandable,’ Magnus says with a small voice.

Alec tries extra hard to keep his own free of harshness because he’s not angry at Magnus. ‘You say that, but I don’t think it was,’ he says, firmly. ‘I got angry too quickly and didn’t give you the chance to say everything you wanted to say.’ He takes a step forward and thankfully Magnus doesn’t move away as he thought he might. ‘After those Shadowhunter attacks, I said you would never have to prove yourself to me but then I went back on that word.’ He wants to move forward again but stops himself. ‘I’m always doing that.’

Magnus makes the step for him and now they’re almost standing chest-to-chest. ‘It’s okay,’ he says and reaches out a hand to cup Alec’s cheek.

Alec melts into the touch, only realising now how much he has missed Magnus’ hands on him. ‘It’s not though, is it? You deserve better. You didn’t deserve what I said to you. I take it all back. I’m sorry.’ He goes to turn his head away and move back, unable to meet Magnus’ gaze.

But Magnus puts a hand on his other cheek as well, pulling his head back forward. ‘Thank you. Although,’ his chews his lip and searches for the words, ‘I don’t care what I deserve. I would throw all that aside for you,’ he says and Alec’s heart sings.

‘Magnus,’ he blinks as his eyes start to sting. At those words, his legs go weak and Magnus follows him down to the floor until they’re kneeling, hands still on his face. His puts his own over them to clamp them in place. ‘I understand now what the Seelie Queen did to you,’ Alec says, ‘and how she controlled you through magic to make you try and kill me. I know now that you never wanted to harm me in the slightest.’

Magnus’ expression grows serious. ‘I would _never_ want to hurt you, Alec,’ he says, voice straining to get through; he needs to say this, ‘I _could_ never hurt you. Even under the Seelie Queen’s influence, I couldn’t go through with it.’ Magnus leans up and moves closer, his voice becoming almost a whisper, ‘I love you, Alexander. I really do. I want to be with you.’

‘Magnus, I do too,’ Alec whispers back. ‘I do too. I’m sorry.’

Magnus almost laughs. ‘You have _nothing_ to be sorry over,’ and he meets Alec’s gaze with such love and adoration.

‘No, but I do,’ Alec insists and finds himself smiling briefly as well, since Magnus’ smiles always affect him in such a way. ‘I should have listened to you,’ he quickly continues, ‘you were telling me this because you wanted to be honest with me and I discarded that. I should have listened.’

‘You’re listening now,’ Magnus says, simply.

Alec nods. ‘I’m with you now,’ he says, ‘and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.’

For a moment it’s as if time freezes and Alec only exists right here and now in this room with Magnus’ hands holding up his head. He feels that were he to look down, the floor would have fallen away and the two of them would be floating in a void, alone but together.

Alec fights back a sob and plunges forward, crashing their lips together.

Magnus responds in kind and uses where his hands already are on his face to keep Alec close as he leans up and shifts nearer. Alec’s hands dart to his back and suddenly they’re flush against each other. Lips slide on lips and it feels like the first time all over again, except the company has faded away and the church scene collapsed away to dust.

The kiss deepens and it washes away Alec’s tears until all that remains is a burning desire to connect with Magnus in so many ways. He wants to touch and caress every part of his body so he can know that every part of him is real; he’s not going anywhere. He wants to be inside him and feel his legs around him while they move as one. He wants to watch him climax, to come completely undone, and have been the one to have got him there.

But only if Magnus wants him to, of course. Alec pushes back the desire as much as he can, squeezes a hand between them and onto Magnus’ chest. He pulls back.

Gradually, ‘I want you— I really want to—’ he speaks between pants, ‘but if you don’t, I understand.’

Magnus smiles a bright, golden smile. ‘Alexander...’ his thumbs stroke along Alec’s cheeks. ‘I was about to ask the same.’

Alec laughs because he can’t help it, and then they’re both laughing as they kiss again. He hugs Magnus against him and soon starts to slide down to tug at his hem of shirt.

Magnus pulls back and jumps up in one motion. He firmly hauls Alec up along with him and Alec goes, compliant and happy, walking until they’re in the bedroom, where he shakes to immediate attention and reaches for Magnus again.

Shoes go flying, it becomes hard to keep kissing, and Alec almost rips off Magnus’ waistcoat just to get him out of it. With a click of magic, it disappears and Alec starts on the shirt now. Magnus, meanwhile, goes for Alec’s belt buckle. But he doesn’t plan ahead and suddenly Alec’s trousers fall down to his ankles in comical fashion.

It releases them from the moment, but once their eyes meet again, they just laugh brighter and Alec soon steps out of his trousers. Flipping off his shirt, he gets Magnus out of his own trousers and then shoves him back onto the bed. Where he bounces up gracefully into a seating position, so he can reach up and pull Alec down with him by the meat of his biceps.

They’re in only their boxers now and Alec revels in the skin-on-skin contact, grinding down again and again until Magnus has to turn away for air. Alec uses it to his advantage and plants a slow trail of kisses along his throat. He keeps grinding and it makes Magnus moan and squirm. Hands fidget about on Alec’s back as he passes over the Adam’s apple.

‘Alec...’ Magnus breathes and his voice sweeps through Alec like warm water.

Shivering, he badly wants to take his time here, fill Magnus’ throat with love bites but he’s too desperate right now. He needs to feel _more_ and quickly.

Alec leaves the neck and darts up for a kiss. He starts to slide his hands down further to warm them up on Magnus’ chest and stomach, enjoying the feel of smooth skin under his callous hands, before he darts inside Magnus’ pants. After wrapping gentle fingers around his shaft, he senses Magnus shift from the sensation and then gradually starts to pump his fist up and down.

Magnus’ hands tighten their grip on his back and Alec breaks the kiss to travel across to Magnus’ ear, sucking on the lobe.

‘Alexander,’ he says, ‘if you keep teasing like this, I’ll might make you skip your favourite part.’

Alec stops instantly and shifts back to be able to look down at Magnus, who stares up with dilated cat eyes. ‘Magnus,’ he says and, without hesitation, shuffles down his body, pings his underwear out of the way, and takes Magnus’ dick into his mouth. He sucks mercilessly, only has one goal in mind, and Magnus cries out above him, diving a hand into his hair and squeezing his hair raw. Alec takes it as encouragement and, getting faster, bobs up and down for a few good, long strokes, wants Magnus to be so close, and then he slides off.

Magnus barely has time to let out a protesting moan before Alec flips him onto his front and he gasps his name. Next follows an awkward struggle to remove Magnus’ pants from his legs, which said man refuses to help with or even make easy, and when Alec looks up he’s got his head on his hand, smirking cheekily.

Alec smacks his hand down across the swell of Magnus’ bare arse in response and as Magnus jumps with a cry, followed by a burst of laughter, Alec attacks his lower back with kisses, causing that chuckle to catch in his throat.

The hair down there rises up at odd angles and tickle his nose slightly. Alec rubs it before burying his face firmly in the cleft of Magnus’ arse. He hears Magnus exhale after a second and feels him shift around under his face.

At first hearing of this act, the concept admittedly confused him, but once Magnus tried it out on him, he wanted to make Magnus feel that amazing as well. It feels fitting to aim for this now, after everything.

Alec wonders if he should let Magnus come this way before fucking another one out of him, when he hear fingers click and a bottle appears in his hand. He pulls back to find it’s _flavoured_ lube and realises instantly Magnus wants him to open him up this way.

Alec doesn’t look up but knows Magnus has seen his blush nonetheless. Squirting some of the lube on his hands, he runs it along his finger to try and calm down and then he tilts the bottle over Magnus’ arse, letting it dribble down onto his hole.

Alec licks up a cheek where some has trickled down and then dives back inside. Again, the taste is always nothing like how he would expect; a bit like alcohol, the chemicals come in more than the fruity flavour. Magnus gives an approving moan and proceeds to plant his face into a silky silver pillow.

Alec licks around his entrance for a little minute. Then checking his fingers are still slick, he slips one inside and swirls his tongue across the top of the rim. Alec adds another finger in no time at all and starts to scissor them.

Magnus’ groans come out muffled now.

Overcome with desire and partly because of a tired jaw, he decides to pull back for now, to watch Magnus instead as he twitches and squirms underneath him. Doing so, brings Alec swiftly aware to how hard he is himself. He hooks his fingers abruptly and gets a jump from Magnus as he curls up into himself, the muscles on his back tense in a smooth pattern.

Giving a few, final movements, Alec retracts his fingers and Magnus groans, muffled into his pillow. Alec shifts back a little to get off his own pants and Magnus peers out from the side at him.

Alec almost comes right then and there. Magnus is a mess. His makeup somehow remains reasonably perfect, but everything else... his eyes are full blow, _glamour_ down, and his bottom lip appears red and raw from being chewed on, the front part of his hair has gone messy probably by rubbing his face into the pillow, and he smiles, suddenly, like the gentle light at early dawn.

Alec is sure he’s never been more in love than in this exact second.

Once off, he flings his underwear across the room and reaches out for Magnus. Together, they turn him on his back, since Magnus seems to be on the same level as him about this, and Alec shuffles into between his already spread thighs.

He finds the lube again and slicks himself up whilst Magnus tilts his hips and shoves a pillow under them.

Breathless, Alec needs a second to calm down and so he touches hand to the side of Magnus’ face, his attention snapping straight back up to Alec. ‘You ready?’ he says.

‘Yes,’ Magnus says and he places his hand over Alec’s for moment, still smiling.

Alec wants to let this happen now. He holds up Magnus’ legs to position himself and, once he’s close, switches to his shaft and very slowly inches inside.

It feels as amazing as it always does. He surrenders to the delicious heat and leans forward to capture Magnus’ lips in a kiss. They remain still for a moment, waiting for Magnus to adjust. Eventually, he gives a small nods and Alec starts to move.

Magnus hums and Alec has to drop his head into Magnus’ neck to avoid blowing off too soon. He moves his waist back slightly and that’s a mistake. Each thrust feels better than the last and Alec disappears into numbing, white-hot pleasure as a ringed hand massages up the back of his head and down his nape.

He hopes Magnus feels the same and gets the impression that’s true when the hand on his nape pauses and decides to squeeze instead. Alec tries to thrust faster to satisfy them both, but his movements become jittery and clumsy. He’s so close.

Magnus nudges against his shoulder softly and when Alec pulls up, he takes Alec’s face in his hands but doesn’t kiss him.

The world evaporates all again and he’s left with nothing but Magnus’ eyes staring back up at him. Each thrust rolls into the other and Magnus’ legs tighten around his body almost in support. They’re so close, Alec can smell his breath, can already taste his lips.

‘Magnus, I—’ Alec tries.

‘Shh, it’s okay,’ and Magnus wipes away his tears. He brushes away the loose strands of hair from his face and Alec melts into the touch. ‘I love you, Alec.’ His voice is angelic.

‘I love you too,’ Alec says, somehow manages to get his voice to forms the words, and Magnus pulls him into a simple kiss. He comes then and it erupts across his body in tender waves. He is aware of Magnus tensing underneath him, before he pulls out and swiftly collapses on top of him.

 _Panting_.

‘We should make a rule,’ Alec says into his shoulder. He can feel the sticky mess shift between them.

‘Huh.’

He pulls up and in the process shifts some of his weight _off_ of Magnus. ‘Uh, I mean we should maybe make it a rule,’ he says, ‘that when one of us trying to be honest with the other, we promise not to leave until they’re finished.’

‘Okay,’ Magnus says, agreeing softly. He smiles and Alec gets the feeling that smile is from something he just thought of.

Nonetheless, Alec feels his lips curling up as well. ‘No matter how much it hurts with what we’re hearing, we promise to stay,’ he adds and then much quieter. ‘I want to stay this time.’

Magnus’ eyes shine. He kisses him again and afterwards Alec rests the side of his head on his chest. So that’s how he falls asleep, to the sound of Magnus’ heartbeat, knowing that he’s here and safe and they haven’t fall apart yet.

They don’t nap for long and when they finally awake, they share a shower together, and head back to the Institute hand-in-hand, ready for the rest of Alec’s night shift.

**Author's Note:**

> I talked about the plot of this fic with someone out of context, which was slightly hilarious, and she basically summed up that if someone she cared about a real lot had wanted to kill her at some point, even with such negative emotions and situations involved, what’s not to stop it from happening again, you know? So that’s why Magnus has no control over his desire to kill Alec because he doesn’t want to so much, the Queen had to force him to even want to do it. Therefore, it makes sense for Alec to forgive him. Whereas my original plan was for Magnus to want to do it a very tiny amount and so he drinks a persuasion potion, looks himself in the mirror, and tells himself to kill Alec to get the job done as a way to explore his grey morality, but instead I swapped all that out for the Seelie Queen’s magic.
> 
> Let me know what your thoughts are, though, even if it's just a "t'was good" :3
> 
> Come find me on [Tumblr](http://yellowhalcyon.tumblr.com/)


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